My husband likes to walk the dog, or anywhere really, with a beer in his hand. I mean honestly, do you really need to show off that you can’t leave home without a drink? While we were walking, my bottle of vodka was neatly tucked away in a chevron-patterened lunch bag, which goes to show that you can still look cute while engaging in inappropriate drinking behaviors.
Can we talk about style? Because it’s important. Just because I’m a mother doesn’t mean that I can walk around in jeans with holes or wear sweatpants all day. Food-stained shirts, you get the drift.
But it just so happens that I’ve made all of these style mistakes recently. This week. And last week. And the week before that. So I’ve decided to up my game in the style department because this is a Code Red emergency situation. Just take a look, please forgive me:
I walked into a Brooks Brothers store to help Rodney buy a new suit. What did I choose to wear? My jeans with holes in them of course. The old fogies paroling the suit lounge were staring down their liver-spotted noses as I brushed past the Autumnal knit collections, a blaze of evergreen and burnt orange. They definitely thought I was going to steal something, which is not a good feeling, especially when you’re pushing 40.
Later that week, after putting on my shredded college sweatpants , I snapped. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I forewent (?) forgoed (?) What is the past tense of forego? Google tells me that it is in fact forewent, but that word looks weird. Let me retry this sentence: I decided to forego my lunch and ran straight over to Lululemon, where I buckled and spent $80 (the horror!) on a pair of herringbone tights. But they’re my new favorites, and I’ve worn them every day since….Proving my theory that sometimes it makes sense to spend a little extra $ on something that makes you feel great.
But I don’t know how I’m going to get around the stained shirt issue. I mean, how is it possible to keep stains away when you have this type of thing going on? Here I am, dressed to impress in my best polka dots, and I ended up with a big dairy stain down the front of my shirt. Which, once the ice cream cones disappeared, made it look like I’m still breasfeeding my 5-year old and had a leakage mishap.
Making matters worse, my family has their own sense of style, which is not always in sync with my finely-tuned aesthetic. Emma gets her hair tips from the movie “Something about Mary”, she’s a huge Cameron Diaz fan. Here, the “hair gel” is blueberry yogurt.
Sadly, our kids also suffer from style missteps. Here we have my oldest daughter on a perfectly sunny 70 degree day, choosing to wear the furry bear hat that Santa brought her for Christmas last year.
Which, also sadly, has a profound effect on the other, younger, more easily influenced kids in our household.
You might be thinking, “at least your son is well-dressed!” But no, not even him! This was his school outfit on Thursday: his sister’s capris. Rolled up, Italian style. He looks like a Venetian Gondolier visiting his friend at Penn State. I’m giving Sam a pass on this outfit because his attempt to break into the ATM suggests that he may become a computer genius and create an app that makes millions and allows me to retire to the Bahamas in my early 50s.
What can you do. Faced with so many style-related transgressions, I knew that I had to fight fire with fire. So I did what any self-respecting Mom would do: I got myself a new pair of naughty librarian glasses….
And brought a snippet of my dog’s fur to my hairdresser, asking him to match the color EXACTLY. I love my new look, don’t you? I’ve noticed that with a few simple changes, it’s easy to regain your confidence. Now if only I could get the rest of my family on board. Stay tuned for an upcoming Wordless Wednesday where I share my plan for whipping them into shape. Enjoy your week everyone!
Hilarious! This post made be really laugh! I’m really loving the “Something about Mary” hair and the winter hats! Love the new hair color too!
Thanks Amber!
That color really suits you well.
Thanks Danielle, I have a huge confession and people are going to be upset, but I didn’t actually change my hair color – for some reason, the picture made it look bright red, but I’m considering actually changing it given the positive comments I’ve gotten : )
Ha!! This is hilarious! Beer in the purse, bwaaaa!!
Love the hair color!
🙂
Tammi
http://www.myorganizedchaos.net
: ) thanks Tammi, got to keep the booze on the DL when you’re out for a Sunday stroll with the kids…
Hari Om
Hey Jessica! Style has never been something I’ve been accused of, certainly! Doing things differently, yes – but one thing that always got me is that my sister and brother all have the red hair (which mum had), but I got the dark hair of my father. In the sun, mine to used to show it’s red inclination – but never as beautifully as this. Jack looks real proud to have a matching family member!
(Of course now the predominant family colour my end is grey *) YAM xx
Hey Yamini! Thanks for stopping by last week. Darn spam filter caught a bunch of comments that it usually doesn’t catch- it went into overdrive over the course of last week, so apologies for just getting back now. Thanks for the color compliments on my hair! It really looked red in the sun, unfortunately not so red in real life but after all of the great comments I’m going to have to get it colored! Have a great week, see you back here on Tuesday 🙂
Oh my gosh, I never thought of catching the color of a pets hair for yours, what a unique concept. Look fun. And on the fashions, hehe what ever works and is comfortable, they’ll find there fashion trend or make new ones.
Thanks for stopping by today, have a great day:)
Oh My Heartsie Girl
Karren
Oh, Karren, this got stuck in my spam filter and I’m just seeing it now! Your comment made me smile, I actually didn’t take my pets hair color into the salon, but thought it was a funny concept since in the sun, my hair color and his color seemed to be an exact match. I’m so evil for my occasional truth-stretching on this site 🙂 Have a great day…
Fabulous fun as always! You should go red for fun – looks beautiful. Cheers
You know, I’ve been considering red for a while. Based on the responses today, I might go for it : ) Will keep you posted.
Nice photos. My husband loves his beer too, but he never leaves the yard. Is this a good thing? lol
Yes, it’s a good thing! I hate that he walks around in public with open containers of alcohol!
LOL – both my teens wear animal hats, one is a panda the other an owl.
Oh, yes, there’s a whole arsenal of animal hats in the closet, ready to go for winter. I actually love them, they’re so cute.
You are funny girlfriend! Love it! Teresa from Nanahood.com
Thanks Teresa, hope you’re having a great week!
These are so awesome! My Kiddies would be dressed for every season everyday if i didn’t give my input…lol Maybe I should give them one day a week to just wear whatever? LOL
How do you even convince them what to wear? I find that it’s an impossible task. I honestly thought this walk on Sunday would be great for taking some Fall photos, and they all chose to wear their own unique getups. If you have dressing strategies, let me know!
LOL…you are funny! Love your blog. My kids cringe when they see what I used to dress them in when they were little. A few of my shots of them would make you feel better! One of my sons wears the same outfit almost every day. Cargo Khakis, a t-shirt with a witty saying and a fleece when it’s cold. One of his swim team mates said, “Being around you makes me feel like I’m in a cartoon with Charlie Brown!” He is easy to buy for!
Thanks Mary, glad you like the blog! I’m scared that my son is going to become the kid who wears shorts or no coat in winter. He’s trending in that direction…Sounds like you’re dealing the same issue. Have a great week!