Red lentils

We already knew that we liked brown lentils, but figured that we’d give red lentils a try. When cooked, red lentils fall apart much more easily so they’re not great for lentil salads or other dishes where they need to keep their shape. But they have a wonderful flavor, and a less-gritty texture than brown lentils making them a hit with two of our guys.

Apologies for side-tracking about rum, but this mystery food challenge drove me to the bottle.

ME: Guys, who’s ready to get their mystery food on?

LAUREN: I just tried it.

ME: You can’t try it yet. Hang on until everyone is here. Where’s Fay? Emma get your booty over here.

ME: Guess what we’re trying for mystery food (shakes red lentils), red lentils! Who’s tried red lentils before?

EMMA: Those are chips.

ME: What do they look like?

LAUREN: The littlest cherry tomatoes in the world.

ME: Oh they do.

EMMA: It looks like juice.

ME: Sam what do you think?

SAM: Uh nothing.

ME: Can you believe that when you cook red lentils it turns to this! (shows the brown mound of lentils). Doesn’t it look different?

SAM: That’s glass.

ME: You guys all get to try them.

SAM: I’m not going to try it.

ME: OK, everyone is trying it right now.

SAM: Because I never try stuff.

ME: You try stuff all the time, that’s not true. You can smell it first.

SAM: No thanks.

EMMA: I want juice.

ME: I’ll get your juice in a second.

EMMA: (Crying)

ME: Why do you panic when I don’t get it right away? You need to calm down and patient.

EMMA: (Sniffs) But you need to get it.

ME: Sam I’m very proud that you’re stuffing your mouth with pea shoots but you have to try the lentils.

EMMA: I want a juice box instead.

ME: I haven’t heard a ‘please’ yet. OK, lentils!

LAUREN: It tastes like if they were in lentil soup.

ME: So they taste like real lentils? You too Sam?

SAM: I didn’t try it.

EMMA: I want juice. I want ice in it.

ME: Again, I have not heard a ‘please’ yet. (Grabs a bottle of rum)

EMMA: Please.

ME: Do you guys want to smell rum?

LAUREN: OH MY GOD!

ME: Whoa, right? Smell it Emma.

EMMA: You’re too far away.

ME: OK, I’ll bring it over…(Smells) Ew.

ME: I think it smells beautiful.

LAUREN: It’s too strong for us.

ME: Do you know that rum is made from sugarcane.

LAUREN: What’s sugarcane?

ME: Sugarcane is what sugar is made from. It’s grown in places like Jamaica. That’s why they make a lot of rum in Jamaica. I won’t give you a taste of my rum, but you can definitely smell it.

ME: OK, tell me what you think of your lentils.

LAUREN: I think they’re the best in the world and I want to buy them again.

EMMA: More lentils!

ME: Sam, do you want more lentils too?

SAM: I didn’t even try it.

LAUREN: I’m going to put them on my noodles. Am I a real chef?

ME: Yeah, that’s real cooking right there. It’s like a lentil sauce, like a lentil Bolognese. That’s Lauren’s first creation.

ME: Emma, do you want to try it too like that? On top of your noodles?

EMMA: Yeah!

LAUREN: Trust me it’s the best creation!

ME: I’m really proud of you bear. Are we getting lentils again?

LAUREN: Yes!

EMMA: Yes!

SAM: No.