Watercress

First, can I get something off my chest? I have five fingers, just like most people. I do not have a pig trotter in place of a left limb as this picture suggests. And now that I think of it, manicures for animals could make for an interesting business plan. Under the gun to get dinner on the table and snap a quick pic of our mystery food challenge, I didn’t realize how trotterish my hand looked until I went to edit the picture this morning. Thank you for letting me clear that up, now let’s move on.

Not everyone loves watercress. I get it. It’s got a little attitude, a little bite. And it tends to show up to parties uninvited. My husband’s order at his favorite Mexican Restaurant? “Chicken burrito, hold the watercress”. In his mind, watercress ruins everything. I respectfully disagree, but thought that I’d give the kids the chance to weigh in.

Their response was not surprising.

ME: OK guys, we have a new mystery food tonight. What is the green thing called?

LAUREN: Lettuce.

SAM: Brussels sprouts.

ME: No, it’s not Brussels sprouts, it’s not lettuce. What you think it is?

EMMA: I don’t know.

ME: Have you seen it before?

LAUREN: (laughing)

ME: Sam always likes his greens.

(Emma ignores the watercress and picks up some sausage on her plate)

ME: We’re not trying the sausage yet. We’re only trying the green thing right now.

LAUREN: Eeeew.

ME: Wait, Sam likes it right? I love it. I love it so much.

SAM: It’s kind of spicy right?

ME: Yes, it’s a little bit peppery! This is called Watercress. Have you ever heard of it before? It’s like a lettuce. It’s like a little lettuce green. Guys, you’re going to let Sam have all of it? Sam, you’re lucky.

SAM: I don’t like it.

ME: What? How come you don’t like it?

SAM: Can I have some cold water please?

EMMA: (spitting it out)

ME: Wait, hold on guys, we’re talking about watercress. Emma, you don’t like it either? Why not?

EMMA: Because it’s disgusting.

ME: OK, but you have to have a real reason other than it’s disgusting. And we don’t use that word anyway. Is it too spicy? Lauren, what do you think?

SAM: Sausage.

LAUREN: This is sausage?

ME: What did you think about the watercress?

LAUREN: It tasted like the salt things. (I’d previously let her lick the side of some shot glasses that I’d bought that were carved out of Himalayan sea salt, topic of another post…)

ME: It tasted like salt? Oh, you’re just too used to having the salt in your mouth?

EMMA: I don’t like this now. I don’t like all of these green things.

LAUREN: But Emma you like the sausage?

EMMA: Yeah.

ME: You guys, let’s talk about the watercress.

Girls: EWW. EWW.

ME: Alright, we’re done. OK, You don’t have to spit it out. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. Just tell me you don’t like and then we don’t have to get it again.

LAUREN: The taste is still in my mouth! Get it out!

ME: Alright. No more watercress.