Broccolini

Before we start, let’s not get into any arguments about whether I’ve already covered this vegetable. That was broccoli rabe, which for the record, is not the same thing as broccolini.

I actually had to check myself because although the flavor profile is different, they have a similar appearance.  Incidentally, I learned that broccoli rabe is not the same thing as rapini, who knew! They’re almost identical, so the rapini police don’t trouble themselves with corrections. Now you can bring up your newfound knowledge at your next cocktail party. Cross your fingers that you’ll be talking to the only person in the room who’ll appreciate your wisdom.

If you’re looking to branch out from broccoli (excuse the horrible pun) I recommend getting your kids to try broccolini. They might even like it better than broccoli. The color stays more vibrant green when you cook it, and it has a sweeter, milder taste.

ME: The mystery food that I have for you this week is…..

SAM: Bread.

ME: Is…

SAM: Yeast.

ME: Broccolini.

SAM: I said yeast.

ME: Yeast?  It’s not yeast.  Broccolini.  Do you remember when we tried broccoli rabe?

LAUREN: No.

ME: It kind of… Well, I’m not going to tell you.  Here you go.

LAUREN and SAM: Broccolini [giggling at the name].

ME: Broccolini.  Isn’t that silly?  Who wants broccolini?

EMMA: Not me.

ME: Why? You’ll love it.  You’re gonna miss out. You’re going to smell it, and taste, and do all those things, right?

LAUREN: It smells like real broccoli.

EMMA: No, no, no.

SAM: Can we have some more?

ME: Yeah.  Ok, there you go.  What does it taste like?

SAM: It tastes like… it tastes like the best thing I’ve ever had in my life.

ME: Really?

SAM: Yes!

ME: I’m glad you like it so much.  Would you like more?

SAM: Yes!

ME: Ok.  Here you go.

SAM: I’m a fan of those.

ME: Yeah.  You’re a fan? I’m a fan of these too.  Lauren, what do you think?

LAUREN: It’s good.

ME: What else?

LAUREN: It’s great.

SAM: I like these things.

LAUREN: Here.  Here, you want a whole little bowl?  Let me get you a bowl, Sam.

ME: Hey, Lauren, does it taste like regular broccoli?

LAUREN: A little saltier.

ME: A little saltier?  Well, that’s probably because I put the salt on it.

SAM: I love these things.

EMMA: What about me?

ME: Okay.  Sam wants to eat all of them.

EMMA: Please.

ME: I can make you a bowl if you want, Lauren.

LAUREN: I don’t need a bowl.  I just want to try one. And broccolini looks more like a bush.

EMMA: It tastes like juice.

ME: It tastes like juice?  You say that every time.

SAM: It tastes like… um… it tastes like flowers.

ME: It tastes like flowers?  I love that description from you.  You never say that.  What does it smell like?

EMMA: Here’s your treat!

ME: What does it smell like?

SAM: Does it smell like broccoli?

ME: Yeah.

LAUREN: What if it smells like nothing?

ME: It’s not going to smell like nothing.

[kids giggling]

ME: The only thing that will smell like nothing is nothing because it’s the only thing that is actually nothing, right?  

LAUREN: I can sniff nothing.

SAM: I love broccolini!

ME: I’m glad you love it, Sam.  Ok, guys.  Do we get this again?

SAM: Yes!

EMMA: No.

ME: Ok, a yes and a no.  Lauren?

LAUREN: Yes.

ME: Yes?  Ok, awesome!

LAUREN: Two yeses.

EMMA: I’m no and he’s yes and she’s yes.

ME: Two yeses and a what?  Two yeses and a no?

LAUREN: My tooth hurts.