Wordless Wednesday is taking an exciting new turn this week. This isn’t a permanent direction for our weekly photo update, but over the weekend, I uploaded an Instagram video of Jackson swimming out to Rodney’s paddle board. I got a quick response: “that’s one for Wordless Wednesday.”

Sorry friend, I thought to myself. Instagram videos can’t be embedded into websites.

But of course, it got me searching…and lo and behold – as of June, they actually started to allow it. Who knew? My reaction: “AWESOME!”

Because if there’s anything that I love more than taking odd pictures of kids and dogs, it’s taking odd videos of them.

So enjoy this week’s Wordless Wednesday video edition, courtesy of my dear friend Devon Kennedy – thanks girl, I owe you one.

Now on to the videos: first up, a trip to the Empire Cake to check out their incredible Minion cake. The fact that Sam didn’t immediately notice the 3-foot rotating cake is a testament to their baked goods. Seriously amazing. If you’re ever in Chelsea in NYC, do yourself and your waistline a favor, and check them out.

And I couldn’t leave you waiting for too long before I shared the video of Jackson swimming out to go paddle boarding. What I didn’t catch on tape were the minutes that preceded his swim when he thew a little doggie tantrum about getting left on the dock. There is a reason why the vizsla is dubbed the “velcro dog”. He can’t go a single minute without being in the company of his favorite humans. Which, of course is why I love him…

….and why I let him do this to me:

And with all of the pictures I post of Jackson drinking his morning lattes, I’m sure you’ve been wondering about the logistics behind the order. Does he wait in line? Does he get treated like a human customer? Does he say thank you? Hopefully this clarifies things for you. Please ignore the barking at the end. There’s a dog bully who periodically shows up and tries to steal his treats. 

Lastly, if you were wondering why they make the legal driving limit 16 in most states, this might be the answer you were looking for. Fortunately our lake house is in a community where underage driving is not only sanctioned, but highly recommended. This is New Jersey after all, the land of ATV and air chair enthusiasts. 

So thanks for joining this week, and hope you enjoyed the ride.

So, here is the outfit transgression. Why I thought it was OK to set foot outside wearing nothing but workout gear and a trenchcoat is beyond me. I looked like a flasher. A friendly flasher, one who might help a blind person cross the street, but a flasher nonetheless.

Last week got off to a bad start.  I headed out of my apartment in an inappropriate outfit, and shortly thereafter pigged out on a big slab of quiche. Which I’m pretty sure was made from a mixture of heavy cream, egg yolks and cheese and baked in the oven with more cheese on top. Why does everyone point their finger at cake as the ultimate bad guy? They have clearly never encountered a quiche quite like this.

Fortunately, even after these early missteps, I was able to bounce back with some healthy eating. Family included. Let me clarify: I didn’t eat my family, but we all managed to eat a pretty healthy diet last week. If a healthy diet means bubble fluid for the kids, and coffee for the dog.  At least they stayed far away from that quiche!

Thankfully we have a royal Hungarian vizsla living in our home, which brings our status as a family up a notch. If it wasn’t for the vizsla, we’d have the same reputation as the Hiltons. The Weiners. The Spitzers. The (shielding eyes), dare I say it…Lohans? 

It was that kind of thinking that led me to the quiche. Desolation, despair. Here is the slab that I mentioned earlier. I bought it at Bouchon Bakery in midtown after a meeting was postponed by 2 hours, leaving me with an extra 2 hours in my day to console myself with food.
I have never tasted quiche this good in my life. I would be totally fine if that wobbly goodness went straight to my thighs. Or underneath my chin. My kneecaps even. It was so beyond worth it. Ahhhh!!! Not worth it! Not worth it! Must fix now!

Fortunately there was a farmers’ market in the vicinity and I reversed course by picking up a few crates of fruit. Which are now attracting fruit flies on my counter because who can eat this much fruit in a week? Am I the only person who does this? I can’t go to a farmers’ marketing without buying bags of food. It’s an illness really.

Fortunately I know how to deal with an oversupply of fruit & veg. I just wiped off the fruit flies, threw the apricots on the grill, and ended up with a delicious 5-minute salad made from greens, vinaigrette, shredded chicken, the grilled fruit, and smoked ricotta salata. If you’re jealous of my lunch that day, you should be. It really was as good as it looks.

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Before we start, let’s remember how idyllic the lake can be when nobody is tugging on your shirt asking for things. Ansel Adams even took a photo of it back in the day. (I’m lying, but I could have tricked you with this shot, amazing what Instagram can do with our cell phones.)

Another lake house edition of my Wordless Wednesday post. Sorry to disappoint those who were expecting fewer pictures of alcohol, water floatation devices, and sunsets. This week was essentially the same, but with visitors who brought toddlers, so there was just more alcohol, more water floatation devices, and the usual number of sunsets. 

The skies are less cloudy here, but it still feels like there’s an impending Cat 3, maybe a Tropical level storm on the horizon. The is the type of weather that should cause you to run inside for cover, not lounge on an inflatable with someone who is 7-months pregnant.  

One of our visitors, let’s just call him Derrick, stocks a plastic tub with an avalanche of ice, beer and white wine. And juice boxes. So thoughtful, even though they were an afterthought. We later transfer the ice and drinks to a larger plastic tub as this one has to be refilled every hour.  

4th of July calls for some cliff jumping. Or jumping off the edge of a dock that’s just a few inches off the water. But it kind of feels like cliff jumping when you’re 4 and 5.

Rest time. Sam’s had a little too much wine and passes out in my lap. At least his fraternity brothers didn’t cover him in lipstick. Although I wouldn’t have allowed that as my mom paws are firmly planted in a protective shield.  Seriously, back off, I will fight dirty if you lay a hand on him.  That’s not a smile, it’s a fear grimace.  I feel threatened and there’s no telling what I’ll do.

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Road trips provide ample opportunity to teach them how to deal with an embarrassing mother.

Woohoo, up at the lake for a week, with a weekend on each side, so 9 days total. In celebration of vacation this week, we’re doing the lake house version of Wordless Wednesday. We shop the Farmers’ Market, discuss anatomy, and spend way too much time on the water. If that’s possible.

First stop, farmers’ market. I swore I’d never make another vegetarian lasagna, but I think that’s where I’m heading with this.

Not only did she insist on wearing her gymnastics outfit to the farmers’ market, but she also showed us a few tricks.

Back at the house, we start dancing. Unbeknownst to us, Spiderman is a yoga ninja.

Although it’s 90 degrees, Santa hats are dug out of the Christmas box, bubbles are blown.

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